NBA Pav Uncategorized

New Orleans, Let Me Be Your GM

Somehow, someway New Orleans got the first pick in the lottery. This is awful News. A generational talent in Zion Williamson is almost but a lock for the 1st pick and he is stuck with the sorry ass Pelicans. I am writing this blog with the assumption he does not decide to return to Duke. Him returning to Duke is unlikely but nonetheless a possibility. But this is my blog bitch and I make the rules.

I am the GM of the Pelicans and we drafted Zion. From here I would shop around AD. I contact the Lakers and start negotiations off with AD for Ball Ingram and the 4th pick. As braindead as that franchise might seem as of late they decline as they should and counter with Ball and the 4th. I accept happily, giggling because I fucking fleeced those dorks. In one day as GM I have changed the atmosphere in New Orleans. The city is happy, bimbos flashing, beads flying everything is bliss. However, I don’t stop there. No sir. I’m on the prowl for another top 5 pick or young stud. Hmmm Tatum seems nice but he under preformed this season. I keep looking. Donovan Mitchell been balling but I already have ZO. I keep looking. Luca is a DAWG but the Mavs wouldn’t trade him. Grr. Im getting angry. Finally I find the chosen one. Devin Booker. I call the Suns, I offer Randle and Holiday and a 2nd for Booker. They accept. At this point I get paranoid that i’m wanted for highway fucking robbery. I look at my roster. Zion, Zo, D Book. I relax and spend some time with my family. Go to the Bahamas, maybe Barbados idk haven’t thought that much about it.

It’s draft time. I draft Zion obviously. Ja Morant goes second RJ Barrett goes third. It’s my time to shine. I draft DeAndre Hunter at 4 to pair up with Zion at the other forward spot. Dear lord I am good at my job. We make the playoffs as an 7 seed and lose in the first round 4-2 to the Rockets. Zion wins ROY I sign a 5 year 15 million dollar extension. We win championship 2 years later.


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