Islanders May Have Won the Battle But Not The War

My beloved Penguins got swept in the first round for the first time since 1972 by the greasy Islanders. I was shell shocked absolutely rattled to the bone. How can those greasy New Jersey shlubs not only beat but sweep a team with two of the top three players of my generation. I suppose im just used to dominance and greatness. I mean in two back to back years they drafted Malkin and the GOAT Crosby. As a fan I can not be more lucky. Blessed to say the least. However the greatness decided to pause momentarily this series. Unexpected but how can I be mad. It’s like trying to be mad at a dog who brings you so much joy for shitting on the carpet. It’s not ideal but life is disappointing.

Myself as well as every other Penguins fan are wildly upset for good reason and every pinhead dork from Jersey is happy…. for now. Yes for now indeed. Those stinky idiots just made the worst choice of their franchises tenure. Yes way to go Islanders you morons give Crosby even longer of a off season to train. Malkin is probably already back in Russia hunting bears via slap shots. Kessel is smashing hamburgers as we speak and for some ungodly reason it makes him better. What have the Islanders done? Advanced just to get beat in the second round? Way to go boys you just awoke the sleeping bear the league can not handle. Crosby will easily get 110 ppints, Jake the Snake Guentzel will have another 40 goal season. Malkin will retake the throne as the best Russian player in the world and score 50 goals.

So thank you New Jersey. Thank you for being so fucking dimwitted to beat the Pens. You won the battle but not the war. IDIOTS. ttyl

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